I have found that you can suffer from shame and low self worth for years without consciously realizing it. I often felt a vague anger or depression or resentment towards others and couldn’t fully understand why.

This led me to bury the emotions, and that’s never a healthy solution. I had to hit a very low point in order to face the underlying cause. I realized how much I was relying on other people to feel good about myself. Rejection of any kind was brutal because it felt like a personal attack on my self worth.

Being alone, even just temporarily, was unbearably isolating. I was giving away my power when I didn’t have to, so I became determined to change my mindset. This was a long and difficult process of introspection and honest conversation, and I’m still fighting to improve every day. It doesn’t help that our social media culture thrives on the idea that self worth depends on outside influences. We constantly strive for virtual validation from friends and strangers. But our ecstatic highs can quickly descend with one negative comment.

I’d like to see more people take back this control, to stop waiting for someone else to judge their merit. It may be cliché, but you really don’t need a man (or woman) to complete you. In fact, it’s very hard to enjoy a healthy relationship when the other person has become a sort of crutch for your self worth.

This idea pushed me to write “Overthrown”. I often use music to work through my thoughts and frustrations, and I honestly learned so much about myself while writing this song. At the start I was battling shame and sadness, but I soon realized that my strength and hope were more powerful.

I want this song to contradict the pop songs that imply that women are weak or incomplete without a man. It’s a romantic sentiment, and I know we can all relate to it to some degree, but it’s not a concept we should be promoting. If more people are open about their dealings with shame and low self-esteem, I think healing will be easier for everyone.