 |
| Photo courtesy of Isabella Limeri |
In the months preceding the COVID-19 invasion, I have to plead guilty to the charge of contentment. I was content with my day job, I was content with sharing a house with a collective of other artists paying for a shared kitchen and bathroom with only one room to call my own, and, most painfully of all, I was content with my artistic output. As someone who has been on stage since the age of eight, it was a new sensation. Burnout coupled with a strange sense of completion - “I’ve done it, I’ve played so many characters, fronted so many bands, toured so many states; whatever happens next is up to fate. I’ve paid my dues and given it what I could” - a point of view I now recognize as not only lazy, but brain-rattlingly arrogant. In December I joined the band LOVEONACID, the brainchild of former Save Face guitarist Philip McGarry, whose music I had worshipped for years and drawn infinite influence from for my endeavors in punk/alternative in recent years. In my eyes this was a pivotal moment - I had earned the respect of established artists, down to their enlisting me for their own projects. What else could success be but the respect of respected peers? I stopped writing. I sang what was presented to me. I was happy, and the effort required of me was minimal. Show up at the studio, nail the song in one or two takes, hang out with the squad and have a good time. It didn’t feel like working at all. It was bliss. Tracking with LOA and our producer, Rob Chiarappa, felt like summer camp - friends coming in and out of the studio every week to track parts with us in a giant converted church right on a lake. If I could feel this way without pushing myself, why bother? My day job is at a theater where I get to see and interact with national acts every weekend and stay close to the action. I can live with that and playing a few shows here and there.
 |
| Photo courtesy of Joseph E. Nester |
But here we are now. Half of a year spent indoors re-reading old horror novels, patiently waiting for a project I do not have control over to gain traction and be free to play live shows again, and reveling in a strangely productive stagnancy. This changed one day late June going through my Google Drive.
My friend and producer, Doug Gallo, had worked on a handful of demos a few years ago when I originally toyed with the idea of crossing over from playing pop-punk/rock and roll to where my heart truly lies - soul music. All of my life I had worshipped the likes of Sam Cooke, Stevie Wonder, Amy Winehouse and the like, but never took the steps to enter that realm beyond a few repertoire/tribute shows. Be it from imposter syndrome as a recovering pop-punk posi-frontman or just general feelings of inadequacy. These demos were never fully fleshed out, and they sat in my Drive to die until I had a strange urge to give them another listen. With fresh ears, I realized we had made some tracks that were very special; they were fresh, they were unique, and most importantly, they felt like ME. The REAL me I had been trying to translate into music since I started writing with bands when I was 14 had finally raised his voice! I was armed with unemployment checks and nothing but free time, so I pulled the trigger. The result of our reunion session is my upcoming single, “The Comedown”, and I can say with certainty that if this song goes on solely to exist in the infinite void of unstreamed tracks filling Spotify’s servers, I at least let a part of myself free that has been begging to meet the world in any capacity. That’s my silver lining. I’ve been on a roll since then writing more and more material and getting to know myself and my abilities better than I ever had, and I know this time I can commit to myself and stick around with this project for years to come - whether there is demand for it or not.
Whether or not the covid-cocoon I’ve been sent into will produce a butterfly remains to be seen, all I can say is I feel a sense of potential and drive I do not think would have filled my spirit had this not happened. I want to see the world, and I want the world to see me back. I have so much in my soul I want to share, and putting those contents under pressure finally produced a reaction. I’ve been blessed to remain healthy and (for the most part) happy through this era of madness, and I hope you and yours have been too.
See you soon, yeah?
My friend and producer, Doug Gallo, had worked on a handful of demos a few years ago when I originally toyed with the idea of crossing over from playing pop-punk/rock and roll to where my heart truly lies - soul music. All of my life I had worshipped the likes of Sam Cooke, Stevie Wonder, Amy Winehouse and the like, but never took the steps to enter that realm beyond a few repertoire/tribute shows. Be it from imposter syndrome as a recovering pop-punk posi-frontman or just general feelings of inadequacy. These demos were never fully fleshed out, and they sat in my Drive to die until I had a strange urge to give them another listen. With fresh ears, I realized we had made some tracks that were very special; they were fresh, they were unique, and most importantly, they felt like ME. The REAL me I had been trying to translate into music since I started writing with bands when I was 14 had finally raised his voice! I was armed with unemployment checks and nothing but free time, so I pulled the trigger. The result of our reunion session is my upcoming single, “The Comedown”, and I can say with certainty that if this song goes on solely to exist in the infinite void of unstreamed tracks filling Spotify’s servers, I at least let a part of myself free that has been begging to meet the world in any capacity. That’s my silver lining. I’ve been on a roll since then writing more and more material and getting to know myself and my abilities better than I ever had, and I know this time I can commit to myself and stick around with this project for years to come - whether there is demand for it or not.
Whether or not the covid-cocoon I’ve been sent into will produce a butterfly remains to be seen, all I can say is I feel a sense of potential and drive I do not think would have filled my spirit had this not happened. I want to see the world, and I want the world to see me back. I have so much in my soul I want to share, and putting those contents under pressure finally produced a reaction. I’ve been blessed to remain healthy and (for the most part) happy through this era of madness, and I hope you and yours have been too.
See you soon, yeah?
While practicing social distancing, listen to my new single, "The Comeback":
0 comments