Anthony L. Williams is not a fan of New Year's resolutions. Instead, he chooses words or phrases to focus on for the year. In 2020, the word at the top of his list was “identity”. Six months later, when his identity was stolen and access was lost to his personal funds and digital accounts, the word felt like it was mocking him. Spending months attempting to regain his identity was exhausting, and led to a decision of prioritizing therapy for the second time in his life. These sessions brought forth discussions on how he views relationships - with people, with finances, with himself - and brought him to a realization that he was not the only one working through those types of issues. It gave him an idea that turned into the first project of its kind.

In the midst of the pandemic, Williams was binging reality television shows that were in no way tailored to the LGBTQ+ community. He was determined to create a voice that could speak to them in a way that made them feel seen and heard. He did not want people competing for money or fighting for the attention of one person. He did not want anything inauthentic. So he started weaving his personal experiences into a concept that, once pitched to his friends, became something worth developing.

It’s Not You, It’s Me: Chicago is a dating and mental health docuseries centering around authentic queer experiences and emotional wellness in ways rarely seen in unscripted television. The eight-episode series dives into modern dating norms, expectations and the impact of the digital connection on real-world intimacy experiences through three gay men.

When asked how he landed on the title for the show, he began the answer with a laugh as he remembered how many terrible titles he went through. He wanted to have one that, when said, would accurately depict what the project was. It’s Not You, It’s Me started as a conversation with one of his producers about previous dating experiences when one of them said the phrase. Williams wrote it down immediately. When they arrived on set, one of the bachelors asked if a title had been finalized and was told the recent idea. During filming, the title was tossed into the conversation and the rest of the crew, who did not know about the potential title, lit up. Seeing their reactions was confirmation that they had found their winner.

As Williams tours the show around the country, he has been able to connect with an audience of unexpected viewers. He has found that the message of the shows speaks to more than just the LGBTQ+ community. When it was screened at the International Black and Diversity Film Festival in Toronto, the majority of the audience did not identify as members of the queer community. Still, they walked away with the same message: people are not alone in the issues that they face.

“I wanted specifically the LGBTQ community and communities of color to be able to really become a little more confident or to let their guard down when it came to talking about mental health,” he said. “I grew up in the South as a queer Black kid of faith, and the things that we heard often in the South were, ‘you handle things on your own.’ That’s what I had to undo in my own mind and my own mental thinking, and so that’s what I was really trying to help other people accomplish in their own life.”

He also wanted the show to serve as an interim tool for people who do not have access to health care or for people who believe that therapy is only available to those who can afford it.

The first time Williams got to witness the message coming across was during production. He recalled a day where they were filming the therapy sessions with their licensed relationship and sex therapist, and the topics of discussion seemed to be resonating with a certain member of the crew who identified as a straight, white male. Williams watched as the words imparted by the therapist impacted him, and that was the moment that he too realized something impactful: this show could possibly reach people outside of the community he was aiming for.

That is not to say that production did not come with its challenging aspects. Since there was no blueprint to doing a show of this magnitude, it was a journey to carve out its path. He found that the best way to describe the concept to people was to picture if Showtime’s Couples Therapy and Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum made a queer baby. Once the picture was painted for people, and he saw how it clicked for them, he realized he was on the right track.

However, Williams knew that any challenges would be easily met by filming in Chicago. Yes, by living in the city he had the knowledge and resources to film there. He had insight into the dating landscape that gave him a clearer picture of how and what to film. He also knew that Chicago is a city of innovation, and that their queer community would be receptive to his creative endeavor.

The show was developed in a way that was meant to live outside of Chicago as well. His goal is to get any city willing to participate in It’s Not You, It’s Me to produce additional seasons. He also wants representation from all aspects of the LGBTQ+ community.

Now more than ever, the story behind It’s Not You, It’s Me is incredibly important. The current political landscape is unpredictable, with loss of healthcare protections and basic human rights being stripped away. As they try to erase every type of representation and pit cultures against one another, it is important to stand together.

“I wanted to put something out into the world that showed the queer community in a different light,” he said. “I want people to know that we’re not a monolith. We’re all very, very different, just like the straight community is very, very different. I’m trying to break that mold and that misconception about the community.”

So far, Williams has received a grant that allowed him to release the first two episodes of It’s Not You, It’s Me: Chicago. They launched a crowdfunding campaign to help raise money for the last six episodes and are looking for ways to continue to tell these stories.

“Together, we have the opportunity to bring hope, healing and representation to audiences of all kinds, everywhere.”