Being My Own Cowboy: A Martina Dawn Guest Blog
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| Photo courtesy of Dictionary Photography |
Ever since I was growing up, I’ve always loved music.
While I am a fourth-generation musician, the familial instinct never kicked in until I was about 12. I had taken voice lessons with my mom since about the age of 5, but it was always just something I did for fun. That was until my mom did a group trip with her music school to Nashville, where she brought down 50 people and had multiple performance opportunities for the students, including myself.
Those opportunities were great, but what lit a fire under me was being brought up to sing at Tootsie's by one of their afternoon bands. I sang “Independence Day” by Martina McBride, and after that I was set on being on stage for the rest of my life.
Little did I know that this new dream I had would be both transformative and soul-crushing, yet also addictive because of how rewarding it is when it goes well.
I started playing my own gigs and going to industry events. Luckily, I had taken a year of guitar lessons when I was 8 - which I hated and stopped because it hurt my hands - but I still remembered what I had learned relatively well, and made the effort to improve, so I could keep playing live.
Today, I am 22 years old and 10 years into this dream.
I’ve worked with some incredible people, released eight singles, won an industry award, shared my music on the radio and grown into an unabashed entertainer because I love the energy of performing.
Along the way, I’ve been criticized, rejected and beaten down so many times that I’ve lost count.
And I’m okay with that.
Why? Because I’ve learned to be my own cowboy.
You see, every time this happens, I emerge even more determined to reach my goals.
First, I’m usually sad and angry for a couple of days, which are natural feelings when your art is being told that it's not good enough. Art is essentially an extension of the artist, so intense emotional waves are normal when we put our hearts, lives and money on the line.
Then, after my usual post-rejection necessary cry fest, something switches in my brain and I carry on.
I have gotten so used to taking detours in my career and trying different strategies that following a normal single rollout plan would feel uncomfortable for me, and that is the beauty of the music industry. Discomfort has helped me grow in my career and personal life.
My newest single, “I’ll Be the Cowboy”, was written with my dear friend Hannah Gazso. The overall story is about heartbreak and love, and how sometimes in a relationship you need to become your own cowboy when you aren’t being treated the way you deserve.
While this song is rooted in the story of a relationship, the underlying theme of being your own cowboy can be applied to so many areas of life. I know this because it represents my approach to my career now and the pursuit of my passions.
Cowboys are symbols of strength, hard work and resilience, but they also are known to be stubborn, lonesome and fiercely loyal to their way of life. They face hardship that can affect their entire livelihoods, but what do they do? They don’t dwell; they set into action and get whatever needs to be done, done.
In fact, musicians and cowboys are similar.
Whether it's my music career - or even my questionable love life - pushing myself to be my own cowboy has allowed me to continue pursuing my dream. I really try to be strong, even if sometimes that comes with a music industry mental breakdown, as I like to call them.
Resilience is something that I’m still working on getting better at, but I like to think I’m doing okay because I still have the gusto to keep this job that people have told me will never work out. This can go for so many situations in my life and in the lives of other people as well.
It can be hard. You will need courage and a whole lot of effort, but when whatever your goal is works out, it will be so worth it.
So, take your losses with grace; if you fall off the horse, get back on.
Pulling up your big girl pants and saying “I’ll Be the Cowboy” is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
You’ll regret it if you don’t.
While this song is rooted in the story of a relationship, the underlying theme of being your own cowboy can be applied to so many areas of life. I know this because it represents my approach to my career now and the pursuit of my passions.
Cowboys are symbols of strength, hard work and resilience, but they also are known to be stubborn, lonesome and fiercely loyal to their way of life. They face hardship that can affect their entire livelihoods, but what do they do? They don’t dwell; they set into action and get whatever needs to be done, done.
In fact, musicians and cowboys are similar.
Whether it's my music career - or even my questionable love life - pushing myself to be my own cowboy has allowed me to continue pursuing my dream. I really try to be strong, even if sometimes that comes with a music industry mental breakdown, as I like to call them.
Resilience is something that I’m still working on getting better at, but I like to think I’m doing okay because I still have the gusto to keep this job that people have told me will never work out. This can go for so many situations in my life and in the lives of other people as well.
It can be hard. You will need courage and a whole lot of effort, but when whatever your goal is works out, it will be so worth it.
So, take your losses with grace; if you fall off the horse, get back on.
Pulling up your big girl pants and saying “I’ll Be the Cowboy” is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
You’ll regret it if you don’t.
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