The uncertainty is what’s the most uneasy - we have no real estimate of when it’s going to be safe to go home. Although mortgages in New York were not frozen and I’m still paying rent, it doesn’t feel right to whine about any of my circumstances. Multiple people that I know personally have been diagnosed with COVID-19. Some people are unable to receive unemployment. There are workers out on the frontlines, including multiple family members of mine in a hospital emergency room or at USPS, who are putting their own health on the line for those who are ill. Their braveness and strength are why we have seen so many recoveries. I sometimes feel like a coward, because I’m afraid to step foot inside a grocery store, while my cousin is forcing a smile through overnight shifts as an RN at a Baltimore hospital; she is the hero. These heroes are doing everything they can to get through the day on the other side, working through the layers of fear, and it feels as if our country has failed them. A pandemic is not political, and I think as a collective, we should all be focused on keeping these workers safe, healthy and well-taken care of. 

Although my creativity has been somewhat stifled in the quarantine, I’ve been trying to sort through options that allow me to maintain some sort of expression. Podcasting, staying active on social media, doing live streams with other artists, and teaching dance classes through ZOOM helped inject some type of creativity and passion into my days. I just uploaded my first video to a new YouTube channel, a reaction video. I haven’t done YouTube in almost 10 years, so I think that putting some of my restless energy into working on that avenue is going to be helpful in harnessing that creative side. It’s stimulating to try and work out ways to feel like myself. Exercising and weight training has been a big part of keeping a routine. We’re unsure of when I’ll be able to go home, but again, I’m thankful to be where I am.

Stay safe, stay healthy, and don’t do something that’ll put others at risk - this is much bigger than ourselves. Thank you so much to the frontline workers who are leading the way.

While practicing social distancing, check out my return to YouTube: