Wanna Be Somebodies: A Resin Guest Blog

There was a short phase in my life where I traded Nirvana for Marilyn Manson. I have always listened to a few of his infamous songs but I consider myself grunge rather than hard rock or metal.
Growing up in Prague is great because you get to do what the hell you want to do - unless you don’t have cash, and my family didn’t.

I was 18 and living with my mom and my sister in apartment without power or hot water. I considered working in a strip club. At first I started serving but it felt like too much work, and free booze for go-go dancers was way too tempting. So I started dancing. Mind the fact that I NEVER dance. I absolutely hate to dance and I am embarrassed with my whole lazy self when I do.

Back than I was more drunk than sober, mixing meds for my depression with whatever alcohol someone bought for me, working in a strip club felt like a perfect cherry on the top of my fucked up, never made it rock star life.

I remember going to work and seeing all the actual strippers, who could pole dance and stuff and they always danced to Marilyn Manson. I loved the intensity and as cliché as it might be, it really fits the vibe!

Manson’s voice became the soundtrack of that phase of my life for one more reason - even though having a boyfriend, I had an ultimate crush on a guy who had an ultimate crush on Marilyn Manson. He dressed like him, he sounded like him and sometimes lived like him. He was the sweetest person and I was heavily inspired by his music. He was one of the few musicians I knew who I really looked up to and so for me, Marilyn Manson was the connection between us. I remember leaving work at 5 am, drunk and listening to Manson’s "The Nobodies" and texting this guy while walking the three miles home in early morning light.

It was rough and I did many stupid things. Marilyn Manson was the perfect accomplice in doing so.