If I learned anything this year, it’s that my tendency to overcommit myself worsens when I’m stressed. Working two jobs, pursuing a full-time music career and still being a full-time college student in the midst of a pandemic has only led to more stress, more depressive episodes and more complete body shutdowns than I’ve ever had in a single year.

I think, if I said all this out loud, I might sound bitter. I’m not, because I know everyone was robbed and hurt by 2020. I think I’m just exhausted. As I approach my 21st birthday, and subsequently the end of this year, I am reevaluating my commitments, my stamina and my priorities. My most valuable passions, like music and friendship, fell to the bottom of my list this year. I’m not really coming out of 2020 with a hope for the next year, but I am coming out of 2020 with a tenacity to create that hope and to dig myself out of this mountain I created. I’m going into 2021 just crossing my fingers and holding on for dear life.