Photo courtesy of Victoria McEwan

When I was younger, I had a lot to say but didn’t necessarily have the guts to say it all. I struggled to find my voice. I would say I spent a majority of my life trying to please others, much to my own detriment.

In college, I worked many late nights at this Toronto venue, working their coat check. Through that I came in close contact with some of the greats - Liam Gallagher being the one I was most starstruck by - even after he left the stage after two songs because of a dead crowd. I was in awe of everyone I saw perform; as soon as I was done taking everyone’s coats I would go stand at the back of the venue and just vibe out to their sets.

Everything changed for me when I decided to drop out of college. I was basically losing my mind and had lost all sense of direction. I was super depressed. I decided to reroute and signed up for classes at this music production school in Toronto. They taught me how to spin on vinyl and produce from scratch with Ableton Live (a digital audio workstation designed to be an instrument for live performances as well as a tool for composing, recording, arranging, mixing and mastering).

I decided I wanted to be a festival DJ. However, I had met a guy in those classes that pushed me to try using my voice as my main instrument, and to be in a band with him instead. I caved. Our band didn’t work out but my time with him made me certain of my own path. It made me realize that I finally wanted to use my voice. During all of this, I also worked up the guts to leave a pretty unhealthy relationship that I was in. This inspired me to write, and it all started flowing so easily to me.

The road so far hasn’t been easy. I’ve lost friends, I’ve been in a tough place financially, but this dream of mine keeps me going. They say you have to be a little delusional to get what you want out of life, so I like to think of myself as the most delusional person in the entire world. I have had countless obstacles stand in my way, lots of rejections and things like that but I’ve learned to let the hard times just propel me forward. The path I’ve chosen has been a lonely one at times. Realizing who has your back versus who doesn’t is never the best of times, but it’s also been the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.