Photo courtesy of Dana Gorab

Destin Cavazos, vocalist/bassist: Hey there! This is Destin, Alec and Henry and we are exPorter out of Santa Barbara, California. Usually we’re out here promoting our shows but this time we’re going to tell you all about shows that have made us cry… or almost cry. I don’t know how many shows we’ve seen between the three of us but it’s a lot and there have been some pretty special ones for sure.

Henry Kish, drummer: Well, I can't say I've ever cried at a show but whenever I see a band I love live for the first time, I always have this weird feeling of realization that these people actually exist. It’s almost a guilty thing, as if, “how have I never heard of this band before” but no crying.

Alec Cavazos, vocalist/guitarist: Yeah, I’ve cried at a couple of shows and they’re mostly Blink-182/Tom DeLonge related. He’s the reason I play guitar today and one time Blink came to the Santa Barbara Bowl so we were all stoked to go see that show. 

Photo courtesy of Dana Gorab

Back in 2019, Otherworldly Entity was lucky enough to open for the legendary nu metal band, Cold, at Buffalo Iron Works in Buffalo, NY. It was such an amazing experience because we didn't just play the show and do our opener thing.

We loaded into the venue about five hours before the doors opened, so we had a lot of time to kill. I lived in Buffalo for about 10 years, and even though I had moved away by this point, I still had a lot of friends around, so we invited a couple to the venue to hang out with us. We ended up spending a large chunk of the day sitting around with Sam, Lindsay, Jon, Nick and Scooter, better known as Cold. It was such an amazing, eye-opening and surreal experience. But why?

For this, we need to rewind back to 2001. I had just started dating a girl named Meg, and it was the day of her birthday party. We were both 14 years old; I had just started playing in my first band the same month, and I invited my friend Phil over to help us set up for the birthday party. The day before, I purchased Cold's 13 Ways to Bleed On Stage album, so while we were setting up, we put the CD in. By the time we made it to track four, “End of the World”, I was absolutely in love with what I was hearing. There was a darkness to it; a genuine humanity, the raw emotion coming out of those speakers spoke to me. I turned to Meg and Phil and said, "Some day, I will play with Cold." Phil said, "I think your band needs to get better." I said, "I don't care if it takes 20 years, it'll happen."

In 2008, I married Meg. In 2011, Phil lost his battle with depression and took his own life. In 2017, Meg and I went through a difficult divorce, and I ended up surviving a serious suicide attempt as a result. By the time 2019 had rolled around, I had lost these two people that shared in that decisive moment with me in 2001, and to some extent, I felt like I had lost myself, too. Two of my closest friends for over a decade, and my own sense of self. But here I was, 18 years later, sitting in lawn chairs behind Buffalo Iron Works, smoking cigarettes, having drinks, warming up to share a stage with these legends.

We killed our set, we really brought the energy. We even covered System of a Down's "Spiders", an homage to Cold's spider logo. When Cold took the stage, I went nuts. That is, until I heard "End of the World". My world had ended multiple times since that day in 2001. But here I was, in the most epic of circumstances. I had to go backstage and just relax for a while.

After the show, when the fans had all left, Scooter came up to me and gave me a hug. He said that he saw my story of my divorce, my suicide attempt and my unlikely survival. He said, "I'm glad you're here." I said, "I wouldn't miss it for the world." He said, "No...I'm glad you're HERE." I knew what he meant. He didn't need to say more. That day changed my life - it started a new chapter in my life, and a new push in the future of Otherworldly Entity.

Photo courtesy of Dana Gorab

It began with a movie. A British movie that was released in 1990 starring Martin and Gary Kemp as East London gangsters, titled The Krays. As a child I was obsessed with this movie. I was 9 when I first saw it; 9 years old and I’m watching the true story of the Kray brothers causing carnage all over East London. Martin Kemp as Reggie, and Gary Kemp as the slightly more sociopathic Ronnie.

It was during this period that I discovered that my new favourite east enders were the bassist and guitarist from the 1980s, new romantic powerhouse unit, otherwise known as Spandau Ballet. So, after successfully completing a full decade of existence, my parents decided to take me to see my new favourite band as a birthday present.

Now this is where my now 10-year-old mind got a little confused. I believed I was going to see Spandau Ballet. I did not know that Spandau Ballet didn’t exist as they once did. I was also unaware that Martin and Gary Kemp were the actors/musicians who played the characters of the Krays in a movie. I believed they were them, if that makes sense? So I genuinely believed that I was going to actually see the real Ronnie and Reggie Kray playing in my new favourite band.

Instead I ended up going to see Tony Hadley perform with some original members of Spandau, but not Martin and Gary… and definitely not Ronnie and Reggie.

I was sold a lie by my parents. I felt betrayed.

“Where’s Ronnie and Reggie?” I would inevitably ask. My mum laughed.

“Martin and Gary you mean?”

“Who?” I replied.

It was during the show that my mum explained to me that Ronnie and Reggie Kray, although they were real people, were not the people in the movie. They were merely portrayed in the movie by actors, who also happened to be in Spandau Ballet, but were no longer in the band. I was utterly disappointed.

It was pretty much instant. I lost all interest in what was going on in front of me. I looked down at the greatest hits CD I’d brought along with the hope of meeting the Krays and getting them to sign it, and felt deflated. I leafed through the inside cover looking for some hard evidence that my mum was wrong, but instead I found the exact opposite. Written evidence that she was telling the truth. How could I have been so blind?!?! Reggie was in prison and Ronnie died in prison. The mathematics of them ever being able to form a 1980s, new romantic powerhouse unit was impossible.

Although quite upset, I decided to try to enjoy the rest of the show. To my surprise, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was back-to-back hits, from “Lifeline” to “Gold”, from “Chant No.1” to “Through the Barricades”. It was awesome. I’d almost forgotten that my two favourite east-end gangsters were not here. I even enjoyed it so much I still wanted to get my CD signed, so I begged my parents to let us stay a little longer with the hope of meeting Tony Hadley, the charmingly charismatic frontman of my favourite band. After about an hour of loitering, I got lucky. There he was: Tony Hadley. The only man to ever fight with the Kray twins and live to tell the tale.

Now was my moment. I plucked up the courage, felt my marker pen in my pocket and shuffled over to say hi. I can’t remember what I exactly said to him at the time, but I do remember him shouting, “Here’s a little geeza,” at me. I held out my CD and marker pen with enthusiasm. He reached out his hand to take them from me and then abruptly paused.

“Naaaah sorry mate, I can’t touch that.” He exclaimed tapping his finger on the pictures of Martin and Gary Kemp on the front. “That’s naffin’ to do with me mate. I could get sued.”

He then chuckled, turned his back and left the venue, leaving me stood there with my pen, my CD, my parents and a single tear trickling down my 10-year-old cheek… I hoped the Krays would get him.

That was the time I cried at a Spandau Ballet show.

Photo courtesy of Dana Gorab

For as long as I can remember, The Beatles have always been a part of my culture. I’ve always been disappointed not to be born during the 60s because I always loved this period for all that it brought for rock music.

My dad is a huge Beatles fan and he used to play their songs with the guitar and sing along. It is also with their songs that I started to learn English. At one point, I wanted to understand their lyrics (I am French) so I practiced my English with them! At 4 years old I was learning the piano, and I think that 4 years later I knew how to play “Let It Be” and “Hey Jude”. At 11 years old, when I learned how to play the guitar, I wanted to play “Blackbird” or the guitar riff of “Day Tripper”.

When I was about 13 years old, my dad offered me a ticket to go with him and see Paul McCartney live at the Palais Omnisports de Paris-Bercy (named Accor Arena nowadays) in Paris. It was a dream come true. When we arrived at the venue, the place was so crowded; many famous musicians and singers were in the audience (for example, Sting was there). Everyone was waiting for this epic performance and man, it was epic! 37 songs played! I was singing almost all the songs with him, not being able to sit down for more than two minutes on my chair because I was so involved in the show.

When he finished the first part with “Hey Jude” and I heard the entire crowd singing along, I just felt the tears coming. It was magic.

The very last song of the show, “The End”, was just a pure moment out of time and space. I felt so connected with his music and his performance; seeing him on stage just changed my perception of how I wanted to play music, and my vision of a band (he has really wonderful bandmates as well).

I saw him on stage one more time in the Stade de France 10 years later, and once again I was impressed by him. He was more than 70 years old, and he performed as if it was the first time he went on stage, with a smile on his face all along…

Photo courtesy of Dana Gorab

It was 28 May 2002 at the Royal Spa Centre in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, England. I couldn’t believe the great Hank Marvin himself was going to be playing in our sassy little town...

Years earlier, at some tender age or other, I heard and saw on television a band full of guitars (and one drum set). Flashy red guitars they were. I was only little, and those men with those gorgeous red guitars were kind of doing a shuffle dance as they played. How didn’t they trip over? It was just a guitar sound, mind - no singing. They called themselves The Shadows. They did have someone who sang with them sometimes though and when he did, I turned it off. His name was Cliff Richard and was obviously trying to copy the King, Elvis Presley.

That guitar sound just stuck into my head and I desperately wanted one of those beautiful red guitars, especially the one Hank used with the lever that had a white knob at the end. I thought he used that to pick the strings with and didn’t realise that when he wobbled it, the notes quavered somewhat.

Then I heard more similar music from some guys called Jet Harris and Tony Meehan. Their “Diamonds” and “Scarlet O’Hara” were added to my music collection, along with “Dance On”, “Wonderful Land” and “Foot Tapper” (the latter three from The Shadows). It wasn’t until much later on that I found out Jet Harris and Tony Meehan used to be in The Shadows and even later on than that, Jet Harris was actually playing ‘lead bass’ for “Diamonds” and “Scarlet O’Hara”, not a Stratocaster! Needless to say, The Shadows and in particular, Hank Marvin, was my first love of music before the advent of The Beatles, then Led Zeppelin, then Dire Straits and so on.

Photo courtesy of Dana Gorab

I’m thinking I should re-title this article to “The Time I Bawled Like A Little Bitch At A Devin Townsend Show” because that might be closer to what actually happened.

I’ve always been very vocal about my love of Devin Townsend. As a musician, he is easily the one that influenced me the most since I discovered his music circa 2013. Since then, he has also helped provide the soundtrack to my life; his music has seen me go in and out of borderline abusive relationships, touring the UK with my band Novacrow, couch-surfing due to homelessness, and almost every other experience I’ve had. I have seen him at every opportunity I’ve had, even flying to Bulgaria to catch his set at an ancient roman amphitheatre!

On this occasion, however, I bawled like a schoolgirl mid-set. Tears of joy, mind you, but tears nevertheless. It was during his headline performance at Bloodstock Open Air 2021, specifically during the song “Spirits Will Collide”. Let’s take a look at what led up to that moment (insert dreamy glissando and wavy transition) …

That’s right, Bloodstock Open Air was one of the first major festivals to re-open after the COVID pandemic! Most international bands were still hesitant to tour or simply couldn’t get the paperwork in time, but fortunately Devin was not one of them. As a big fan of the guy, I had been following him throughout the past year and a half and he was clearly having a rough time with the pandemic situation. And he obviously wasn’t alone - regardless of your stance on the pandemic/lockdowns, the whole situation was rough on an awful lot of people.

Whilst I personally enjoyed the time off and found the first few months very peaceful and good for my mental health, it eventually started triggering anxious episodes that I had never really experienced before and it just started getting worse from there. So when the festival came round, I think most people were excited to just be getting away from things for a few days and pretend things were back to normal for a weekend.

That said, when Devin hit the stage I was several drinks in and SUPER excited for it. He didn’t have his usual band, so the whole stage show and sound was very stripped back, which gave the whole headline show a bit of a more intimate feel in some ways. He went through his usual set, and for me it was the first time I got to hear him play some Strapping Young Lad songs (songs from his metal band that he’s been saying since 2007 he would never play again) so already emotions were high. Once “Deadhead” started playing (a slow burning, eight-minute, epic love song), I could feel the emotional tension rising as everyone was just so dang happy to be there, listening to this hugely inspirational man scream his lungs out about how much he loves his wife.

Eventually he started riffing an intro for “Spirits Will Collide” whilst talking about the whole previous year. Given the strong and uplifting anti-suicide theme to the whole song, I knew he was going to pull all the strings out for this little ditty. He invited a crowd of people onto the stage, along with a giant gorilla and elephant to parade around the stage as he started belting out the lyrics. I was just as happy as a clam, gleefully singing along until the sudden reconciliation of my own struggles with mental health, what this previous year meant to the world, the uplifting message of the song in question, and the fact that I have had such a fun time away from the everyday tribulations of life, all hit me at once and I started crying. And clearly I wasn’t the only one who had these thoughts as people all around the crowd were also crying. The rest of the set went on and it felt like a magical afterglow - everyone was just so damn happy to be there; Devin himself also seemed so excited to be on that stage. It was just a wonderful performance for everyone involved. 10/10, would cry again.